Day 65: Spoke too soon.

I’m in a good groove and feel strong enough to not track myself so closely. Life is unfolding and I am ready for my new existence without this past six years shackled to my ankles. I’m letting it all go.

Trial is coming. But my head is already clear of all things Fed. I have no need to monitor myself anymore. I can just live…

After today and for 64 coming days and beyond, I am going to just live as people live, by instinct.

Self-balance.

I had a quiet day to gather myself after yesterday’s over-stimulation of violence on television and in real life in Virginia Beach. I bubble wrapped myself and tackled work. Because that is what I do when things spiral out of control…I reel myself in. Likely not healthy.

I had to keep the television news off today. That’s not easy, when the “tragedy of the day” is happening only 9.8 miles away. But I have to stay “safe” from the way things were hitting me yesterday. We all have limits.

Physical.

Worked out double-time today. Yay me. Woo hoo. So excited I can hardly stand it.

Work.

Did I say I spent the whole, mind-numbing day closed captioning the film? There is something so awful and mind-numbing about hearing your own voice droning on for 14 full hours, repeatedly while you type every last word.

Material.

I got nothin’.