Day 82: Stuck in today’s moment.

Today is limbo. But as the day has progressed, I have remembered that I need to see the small steps forward, as they lead somewhere. Small progress is progress, nonetheless.

Self-balance.

My morning devotional focused on learning and growing.

There are lessons to be learned and character qualities to be developed in each situation.

Yes, there are lessons and yes, I have grown. But- oh! You get tired of limbo. Limbo, limbo, limbo.

All of this said, there is a change afoot. Tomorrow limbo ends. I turn a major corner tomorrow, one I have not turned in a full five years and one month. I am taking a significant step forward.

So maybe my melancholy today is simply “growing pains.” I don’t know. I was doing so great until the person pulled me down a little a few days ago. But I need to keep my eyes forward. My mood definitely shifted down, but I have the power to pull it back up…if I keep protecting myself and focusing on the clear plan right now.

Work.

I completed every client request that came my way today and fulfilled some marketing for my own companies. Moving forward bit by bit.

Tomorrow will be a bit different. I am doing something new and will see where it goes.

Physical.

I worked out beyond my minimum. It wasn’t to the level of some of the past days. But I’ve had that migraine, so I need to not trigger it.

Material.

I am still frustrated by where things are with me materially. I have experienced about six weeks of others’ fraud and negative client behaviors. When I say “fraud,” I mean faulty debit after debit after debit and Slick Rick business dealings, like that $7200 headlight that still doesn’t work on my car, despite “warranty.” I never really have any fraud issues. But then in the past six weeks, one after the other after the other. It is all part of this climactic journey, I believe. It feels like the universe is responding in swirls of negativity to the pending climax of this six year journey. A cosmic swirl. The same is true of my clients who are not releasing their payments as they have for the past 70+ weeks. Suddenly, they “get too busy” to pay for week after week, when they have any work to request, at all. It is all needless drama that affects my wallet – desperately. But I expect it.

Still, I am turning wheels. Wheels moving toward change…enough of this BS…