Day 82: Stuck in today’s moment.

Today is limbo. But as the day has progressed, I have remembered that I need to see the small steps forward, as they lead somewhere. Small progress is progress, nonetheless.


My morning devotional focused on learning and growing.

There are lessons to be learned and character qualities to be developed in each situation.

Yes, there are lessons and yes, I have grown. But- oh! You get tired of limbo. Limbo, limbo, limbo.

All of this said, there is a change afoot. Tomorrow limbo ends. I turn a major corner tomorrow, one I have not turned in a full five years and one month. I am taking a significant step forward.

So maybe my melancholy today is simply “growing pains.” I don’t know. I was doing so great until the person pulled me down a little a few days ago. But I need to keep my eyes forward. My mood definitely shifted down, but I have the power to pull it back up…if I keep protecting myself and focusing on the clear plan right now.


I completed every client request that came my way today and fulfilled some marketing for my own companies. Moving forward bit by bit.

Tomorrow will be a bit different. I am doing something new and will see where it goes.


I worked out beyond my minimum. It wasn’t to the level of some of the past days. But I’ve had that migraine, so I need to not trigger it.


I am still frustrated by where things are with me materially. I have experienced about six weeks of others’ fraud and negative client behaviors. When I say “fraud,” I mean faulty debit after debit after debit and Slick Rick business dealings, like that $7200 headlight that still doesn’t work on my car, despite “warranty.” I never really have any fraud issues. But then in the past six weeks, one after the other after the other. It is all part of this climactic journey, I believe. It feels like the universe is responding in swirls of negativity to the pending climax of this six year journey. A cosmic swirl. The same is true of my clients who are not releasing their payments as they have for the past 70+ weeks. Suddenly, they “get too busy” to pay for week after week, when they have any work to request, at all. It is all needless drama that affects my wallet – desperately. But I expect it.

Still, I am turning wheels. Wheels moving toward change…enough of this BS…