Ugh. I have to amend my last bit for Day 96. I’m not being fully honest.
I’m preparing myself to start socializing again. I will not feel like going “out” with anyone for at least a month. But I’m on the road to it.
Just so we are all clear.
My heart and mind are ready and with trial coming up in the next three months, I am going to have space next to me for the first time in these years. I no longer feel like I have a “contagious stalker problem.” I no longer feel like a “victim.”
So it is time. But only super mentally healthy need apply, haha. I just quickly and effectively closed a door last month, to someone who only thought of himself. That will not suffice. I’ve survived, fought the good fight and done what I felt I needed to do to look myself in the mirror, after this is all done. So I am worth way more than that.
When I let someone next to me, it will be well worth the wait. Or I will continue being content on my own.
And I can tell you for certain: It is not anyone I’ve met before. I need newness and better respect and consideration than I’ve ever had before. The bar is high.