Days 89 and 88: You have not lacked anything.

Yesterday and today have been one long workday, it seems. I say “today,” but it is already tomorrow. So much to get done before trial…

Self-balance.

My daily devotional focused on memories.

He has watched over your journey through this vast desert. …you have not lacked anything.

~Deuteronomy 2:7

I feel that in my heart. I’m not a “church-y” person. But I am very spiritual, to the point others might think I’m a bit over the top when it comes to my beliefs in the afterlife and such.

I am just typing nonsense because I finally feel clear-headed today, for the first time. But I do believe I have been protected throughout this journey. I know many things are at work, as they have been since the first time I taped a “night journal” without thinking anyone would see it unless I was killed.

So I am going into tomorrow hopeful that I am still not alone in this and that everything is going as planned. Otherwise, it would feel easy to give in to my stress of late.

…and I’m running in so many circles that I only just realized I skipped today’s devotional and jumped to Friday’s. Aargh. I need to slow down. Tomorrow I will work it out.

Work.

There is no question that I am accomplishing “work.” I think the problem is that I do too much. I need better balance. I set up a meeting for myself for next week, to try to form better life balance. We’ll see how that goes.

Physical.

I have worked out both days as I am supposed to. But both days it was the minimum I am supposed to do. So I need to step it up a bit more next week. I need to integrate some different things, challenge my body differently and use other muscles. That’s the plan.

Material.

Ugh. Income. Who wants to talk about income (none) or expenses paid (none)? So goodnight…see you in Day 87.

I can’t believe how fast this time is flying. It is scary. Only 87 days to trial. Is Fed starting to feel his reality, what he has done to get here? Or is he still blaming the victims – all “double digits” of us? I’m sure it is still the latter and always will be. That is his brand of crazy.